The national debt just passed $14 trillion. To put that into perspective, if you placed fourteen trillion one-dollar bills end-to-end, they would stretch around Al Gore's waistline 322 times. Now, the $14 trillion figure is certainly a misunderestimation, being the official figure. Plus it doesn't take into account the unfunded liabilities for Medicare and Social Security, which the Federal Reserve estimates at well over $100 trillion.

Here's a tribute to the 1979 movie Americathon, in which the country is bankrupt and holds a telethon to keep from being repossessed by wealthy Native Americans. Come to think of it, if we're going to be owned -- which we are -- we may as well be owned by Native Americans instead of international bankers. But we digress. (Note that the donation counter goes up to $1 trillion. Ah, the good old days!)

So, Rand Paul wants to do away with all foreign aid, including aid to Israel? For the ridiculous reason that we can't afford it?! Is this guy for real? Seriously, Rand has lost his mind. Doesn't he know we can NEVER run out of money?! Earth to Rand: Dude, we got this, like, Federal Reserve that can get us all the money we need any time we need it. Let's airlift crates of cash to everyone! We give Israel only $3 billion per year. That's awfully stingy of us, considering the money machine has no limit. So come on, Congress. Screw Rand Paul! Let's send Israel $3 TRILLION this year! After all, with Oborrowa in office, trillion is the new billion!

And, um, Rand? You're kind of outnumbered. Haven't you heard that the Chairman and Vice‐Chair of the Federal Reserve are Jewish, as is the Secretary of the Treasury and the ranking member of the Appropriations Subcommittee on State and Foreign Operations? If that's not enough, you're also going up against the President of the United States. Or maybe you didn't know that Joe Biden made the following comments when he addressed the Jewish Federations of North America’s General Assembly conference in New Orleans in November, 2010:

“I feel so absolutely certain that our support for Israel must continue … forever.” Forever is a really long time, Rand. Biden also said, "President Barack Obama feels exactly the same way I do, I assure you.” Rand, he said "exactly," okay?

So, Rand. I know you're a U.S. Senator and all, and I'm just a Bald Guy in a Booth. But listen: Since there's no limit to the money we can get from the Fed, and since our support for Israel must continue forever, I'm thinking we can save a lot of time and aggravation by writing one last check to Israel, in the amount of infinity.

That oughtta do it.